How to Flip-Think Your 'Spoonie Guilt' with These Two Words| The Health Sessions

How to Flip-Think Your ‘Spoonie Guilt’ with These Two Words

When you live with limitations, you’ll inevitably disappoint yourself or others because you can’t live up to (your own) expectations.

Canceling a meeting at the last minute due to a crippling flare-up, not being able to do your ‘fair share’ around the house or having to say ‘no’ to your kids when they want to play with you, the list of things people with chronic illness can feel guilty about is long and diverse.

And even though it’s not your fault you can’t do things because you’re too sick, that doesn’t mean you don’t beat yourself up over letting people down.

But instead of apologizing all the time, there’s a way to express your ‘spoonie guilt’ in a more positive way: by saying ‘thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’.

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How to Create Your Own Action Plan for Recovery (eBook) | The Health Sessions

7 Lessons I Learned About Recovery From Illness

 

 

Today is the big day.

My first ebook, How to Create Your Own Action Plan for Recovery, is available in the new webshop now! 

It’s a 200 – page guide for people with chronic illness or injury, for those who want to rebuild their health after a long sickbed, serious operation or life-altering accident.

Because being chronically ill or injured can turn your life upside down. And the situation becomes even more unsettling when doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with you. When modern medicine doesn’t have a cure for the pain you experience every day. When at best you’re given pills and therapy to help manage your symptoms, not cure them.

I’ve been there, for many, many years.

I’ve been through the tiring and heart-wrenching process of endless doctors visits and second-opinions, living with a chronic disease that has no remedy, turning to every complimentary therapy imaginable in the hopes of finding comfort or relief.

Diagnosed with juvenile rheumatism, fibromyalgia and ME/CFS during my early teens, I was housebound and unable to do the simplest things for the longest time. Going through the process of fighting illness and acceptance for over 15 years, I learned many things.

Here are the most important lessons that the road to ‘recovery’ has taught me. 

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Why Acceptance is Not the Same as Giving Up | The Health Sessions

Why Acceptance Is Not The Same as Giving Up

“Accept what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be.” 

 

Being seriously ill or injured can turn your life upside down. More than anything, you just want to get better and resume your normal activities. But what if that’s not possible? What if you’re diagnosed with a chronic illness that has no cure?

When the painful symptoms are here to stay, you have little choice but to learn to accept your new reality. But how do you do that when every waking moment is a cruel reminder that your life is not what you thought it would be like? 

Over the last decade, there’s been a strong societal focus on “never giving up”, on keeping going no matter what, on fighting like hell for what you want. And sure, that can be a motivating mindset to deal with challenges like getting a hard-earned degree, training for a marathon or losing those last pounds.

But that mentality doesn’t necessarily help when someone’s faced with horrible circumstances they have little control over, like losing a loved one, surviving a traumatic experience or becoming chronically ill. No matter how much you don’t want it to be true or how badly you want to get better, willpower won’t help you change the situation you’re in.

 

Many people mistakenly believe that accepting a painful reality means you’re surrendering. That it’s a sign of weakness to stop fighting the truth; that you’re a quitter for no longer struggling every day to get your old life back. They’re wrong.

Acceptance is not the same as giving up. 

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6 Surprising Things That Spoonies and Olympic Athletes Have in Common

6 Surprising Things Spoonies and Olympic Athletes Have in Common | The Health Sessions

 

It’s hard to think of two more obvious extremes: the chronically ill versus Olympic athletes.

They find themselves at the opposite ends of the health spectrum: one struggling to do the simplest everyday activities, whereas the other is the embodiment of strength and fitness.

But if you look closer, you’ll find that spoonies and Olympic athletes have some surprising things in common.

 

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Illness and Identity: Redefining Who You Are When Your Health Changes

Illness and Identity: Redefining Who You Are When Your Health Changes | The Health Sessions
Photo by Mon et Mine

 

The house I grew up in will be sold in a few days time. As I go through boxes of childhood memories stashed away in the attic and wander the half-empty rooms I spend such a big part of my life in, I can’t help but think how much of our identity is tied to our circumstances.

The places we live in, the people we surround ourselves with, the roles we play and the things we do, they all become a part of who we are. We literally define ourselves by our profession and habits. One of the first questions we ask strangers is: “So what do you do?” And yet, we usually don’t answer with a list of our activities, but with statements like: “I am an administrative assistant/nurse/graphic designer.”

But when you become severely ill and lose the ability to work, socialize or do the things you love, how we label ourselves and interact with the world changes. There’s an erosion of self where everything you used to think about yourself is challenged by the new limitations of your body. Would you still describe yourself an outdoorsy, fun-loving teacher if you’ve been too sick to be in a classroom of nature for months? But if not, then who are you now that chronic illness chips away at the things that defined you for so long?

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