This article is written by Elliana W.
We communicate every day in various ways. Whether it be through body language, digital platforms, or good ol’ verbal communication, we are always expressing our emotions.
At some point, we should feel like professionals when it comes to communication, but every now and then there are situations where we’re uncomfortable bringing up certain topics or issues. Sometimes it can be difficult to know how to approach a necessary conversation with your partner, but at the end of the day, it needs to be done. Keep reading to learn how to best talk with your significant other about what’s on your mind in a calm and productive way.
Find the right time and place
First and foremost, no matter what the conversation to be had is, it’s important to choose the best setting. Think about your partner’s daily routine and determine when they are typically the most relaxed and at their calmest. Also, find a place where you can both sit comfortably facing one another, like a couch or at a table. If possible, try to hold the conversation in private at home, but if there are any barriers to this then consider maybe a secluded park bench or a parked car.
Finding the right time and place is crucial for having difficult conversations, as it makes talking come much more easily. However, it’s also important to note that you shouldn’t wait too long to have the conversation to avoid secrecy and letting the situation get worse.
Gather your thoughts beforehand
Don’t go into a conversation without some preparation. It’s important to figure out what you want to say beforehand so that your emotions don’t throw you off balance. If you’re worried about remembering what to say, you could jot them down in the notes app on your phone or a small notebook.
If you’re having trouble figuring out the best way to approach the conversation, consider seeking outside help. Reach out to a close family member or friend for their advice or if the topic relates to mentioning chronic illness, ask your doctor for advice. For more professional guidance, get in contact with a virtual therapist to help you navigate how to hold the conversation.
You can also practice the conversation with someone you trust beforehand. It may sound silly, but roleplaying the conversation will help you feel better when it comes time for the real one to happen. Even if you don’t have someone you feel comfortable practicing with, the simple act of looking in the mirror and practicing it with yourself will ease feelings of nervousness and help you go into the conversation more confidently.
Go into the conversation with a positive mindset
It’s natural to feel anxious before an unpredictable situation, but it will be easier to handle if you prep your mind beforehand. Try not to let your mind wander about the what-ifs or possible outcomes, and rather focus on how you want the conversation to go. Play out the best-case scenario in your head and manifest what you want it to turn out like. If you go into a situation already thinking the worst, then the chances of the conversation going south are high. Why? Because when your mindset is off, it can throw everything else off balance and influence the entire conversation.
Also, help yourself feel positive by dressing in what makes you feel confident so you feel ready to take on the conversation. By feeling your best and limiting outside distractions, you’ll be able to focus on what you need to say rather than worrying about your clothes or hair getting in the way.
Keep in mind that if the conversation does not go as well as you hoped, you can always reach out to a close friend or family member for their support afterward. This will help you to reflect and decompress with some helpful and positive company.
Come prepared with possible solutions
Depending on what needs to be discussed, it’s important to have solutions in mind if you need to solve a problem together. For example, it can be hard to bring up something your partner does that may bother you but if you come with something you can work on together it’ll be easier to discuss. On the other hand, topics revolving around sexuality or sex-related issues can be more difficult to talk about. Although, this doesn’t have to be an awkward situation if you think about what will help- like an online Viagra prescription if your partner has trouble with maintaining an erection or going to sex therapy together for difficulty becoming aroused. Remember that no one can read your mind, so it’s important to say your thoughts and what you think will help because there’s no guarantee the other person will automatically know.
Additionally, if you are going to tell your partner about a recent chronic illness diagnosis, come prepared with a list of how they can support you during this time. While it’s difficult to know the solution to a chronic illness, you can come prepared with what you do know and how you think your partner will be able to help you through. Keep in mind that not everyone has experience being told that someone they care about has a chronic condition, so come with useful information you can tell them to help them understand and feel less overwhelmed.
Honesty is the best policy
Above all, always be honest with your partner and yourself. It may be uncomfortable to go into the conversation not knowing what the outcome will be, but you’ll feel better getting your thoughts out than holding them in. Stay honest and transparent in the moment, as even little white lies can make things more difficult down the road.
Being vulnerable can be scary, but if you’re with the right person they’ll be willing to listen. At the end of the day, always be an advocate for yourself and tell the truth. While it may feel uncomfortable at times, being honest and open with your partner will only help to improve your relationship and make it stronger than ever.
If you enjoyed reading this article, you might also like: