Real FOMO: What to Do When You’re Missing Out Because of Chronic Illness

As the new year dawns, many feel the call to set resolutions — promises to grow, improve, or embrace change. But for those of us managing chronic illnesses, this time of reflection can feel daunting because you may not be confident in what you can accomplish and how you’ll commit to it.
How can you set goals that also respect your health, nurture your spirit, and feel achievable? The key lies in crafting resolutions that are gentle, realistic, and impactful, tailored to the unique rhythm of your life.
Living with a chronic illness often means navigating fluctuating energy levels, unpredictable symptoms and societal expectations that may feel out of reach. Because of this, traditional goal-setting advice might not resonate or even feel achievable.
Instead of feeling down about not being able to do things the traditional way, embrace where you are in your life and assess your priorities and capacity.
Determine which stage of change you’re in. After some reflection, you can meet yourself where you’re at and design a plan that helps you take a specific step forward. You can take a different approach to New Year’s resolutions that focuses on self-compassion rather than societal pressures.
At the heart of successful resolutions for those with chronic illnesses lies self-care. Consider how self-care can become the foundation for sustainable change when creating your goals. When you take care of yourself, you’re more likely to have the energy and mindset to commit to something long-term.
Explore various types of self-care, such as:
By weaving self-care into your resolutions, you’re setting yourself up for goals that are both meaningful and achievable.
One effective method for crafting resolutions is the SMART goal framework: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This approach ensures your goals are clear and realistic, both of which are essential for anyone living with chronic illness.
For instance, instead of “exercise more,” try “walk for 10 minutes a day, two times a week.” Or replace “eat healthier” with “include one additional serving of vegetables at lunch three days a week.”
But for SMART goals to get you results when you’re chronically ill, you need additional strategies.
Start small. Choose habits you can also stick to on bad days. Focus on creating rhythms, not strict schedules that will be unrealistic when you’re experiencing flare-ups or health setbacks. Have a back-up plan for how you’ll deal with the inevitable sleepless nights or unexpected doctor’s visits that will mess up the best laid plans. And most importantly, allow room for flexibility. Progress might be slower than anticipated, and that’s okay.
Adaptability is crucial for realistic goal setting when you’re chronically ill. Life’s unpredictable moments may require you to revise or temporarily set aside your goals.
For example, your initial goal may have been to walk for 10 minutes a day, three times a week. But you’ve found that your joints can’t take it. So, you pivot to walking once a week and engaging in another exercise like water aerobics twice a week to give your joints more support.
Adjusting your goals doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re responding to your body and circumstances with wisdom.
To inspire you, here are examples of resolutions tailored to different aspects of life. Each is designed to be compassionate yet motivating.
Consider what you want to prioritize when it comes to your physical health and well-being. Do you have any particular physical or fitness goals you’d like to reach, or are you more interested in pairing physical movement with mindfulness exercises? Some ideas include:
Just as important as your physical well-being is your emotional resilience. Just like exercise and movement, this is a practice that you can cultivate, strengthen, and grow with time. You don’t need to spend hours each day tending to your emotional resilience, as even a little can go a long way in developing here. Think of:
Similarly, social connections only thrive when you focus on and tend to them. It can be tricky to balance that with your own needs and goals, but here are a few small, but impactful, ways you can devote some time to initiating and growing relationships in the new year:
It’s important to reflect on what you want your work life to look like in the new year, too. You should always be on the lookout for unrealistic expectations at work, especially if you’re job hunting, and work to make changes to support yourself in the workplace. That might involve working on learning new skills to advance your career or simply working to create a better work-life balance for yourself, like:
Finally, don’t forget yourself and your own needs and wants when it comes to resolutions. It can be valuable to spend time and energy improving in different areas of life, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of filling up your own cup and growing as an individual. These kinds of goals are especially personal, but some resolutions to explore include:
As you embark on your journey of goal-setting, remember that progress is more important than perfection. Celebrate every small achievement, no matter how minor it may seem. When resolutions don’t go as planned, extend yourself the same compassion you would offer a dear friend. Let your resolutions be a reflection of the incredible resilience and strength you show every day.
Here’s to a new year filled with hope, self-compassion, and meaningful progress!
If you want to learn more, check out these 6 ways to set realistic goals when you’re chronically ill and then try one of these 101 small things you can do today to boost your health and happiness.