The Art of Saying ‘No’: Boundaries and Self-Care in Chronic Illness
It’s not hard to get worried about the state of the world these days, and how political unrest, pandemics and climate change could affect your daily life.
Not to mention the personal stress you experience when you become chronically ill and are now faced with painful symptoms, scary medical procedures and an uncertain future, while wondering how on earth you’re also going to cover your expenses, take care of your loved ones and keep some form of basic hygiene. Who wouldn’t be lying awake at night scared, with all kinds of scenarios racing through your mind, if they were in that situation?
You don’t have to have a clinical anxiety disorder – when you experience intense worrying most days about many things for at least 6 months, combined with restlessness, fatigue, irritability, muscle tension, sleep disturbance and/or difficulty concentrating – to struggle with spiraling thoughts, rumination and fears, feeling tense and nervous, and even physical symptoms like a racing heart, shortness of breath and twitching.
Even ‘normal’ anxiety experienced during tough times can hurt your health and quality of life if it builds up over time. So how do you calm your anxiety when you have every reason to be scared?
Sadly, there’s no quick fix for changing your thought patterns and your core beliefs about life, the world and your place in it. However, there are things you can do right now to calm your body and mind when you’re feeling stressed and worried, while working on slowly reducing your overall anxiety over time.
When you’re anxious, one of the fastest ways to soothe your nervous system and get out of fight-or-flight mode is by taking a deep belly breath. You could practice the 4-7-8 breathing exercise (breathe in for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, breathe out for 8 counts) or the physiological sigh (a double inhale, one long exhale) to activate your body’s natural relaxation response. But you could also try other relaxation techniques, like a mindful body scan or visualization.
And there’s a reason why going for a short walk helps you clear your mind: moving your body has a positive effect on your brain chemistry, producing neurochemicals that help reduce anxiety. Gentle exercise also releases tension from your body and builds your resilience, so explore illness-friendly ways to blow off some steam, whether that’s yoga in bed or going for a bike ride.
In fact, you should prioritize taking good care of your body and mind in several ways, from reducing caffeine and alcohol to getting enough sleep and making time for relaxation. I know that isn’t always easy, especially with limited energy and mobility, but even small steps in the right direction can make a difference to your health and happiness.
Expressive yourself creatively can also help you process emotions or explain feelings you can’t put into words. You don’t have to be the next Leonardo Da Vinci, just grab some pencils and doodle. Put on a cathartic song and dance your heart out or sing along. If you don’t know where to begin, check out these 44 creative ways to support your wellbeing to get you started.
Also don’t get stuck in worry-induced passivity. Focus on the things you have some control over, no matter if it’s small, and take action, with help from family and friends if necessary. Anytime you feel empowered, it sends a subtle message to your anxious thoughts that you’ve got this.
And finally, remember to look for the positives. Not in a “let’s ignore all our problems and pretend everything’s fine” kind of way, no. You can acknowledge your worries and pain, and still be thankful for the sweet text from your friend or savor the sunshine on your face. It’s not always easy to find silver linings to your cloud or focus on the simple pleasures of life, but I truly believe that noticing and appreciating the small good things can make the big bad ones just a little easier to bear.
That includes taking Fred Rogers’ advice and look for the helpers if you’re anxious about world events outside of your control. Because no matter how dark it may seem sometimes, you are not alone and there are always good people fighting good battles.
For more advice on how to reduce anxiety in the long run, take a look at 7 coping strategies to deal with health-related anxiety, how you can learn to let go of unhelpful thoughts, as well as accepting your new reality and dealing with an uncertain future.
Hopefully these anxiety quotes will help you feel seen and understood, while also bringing some calm, peace and empowerment.
Which of these anxiety quotes do you find most relatable or comforting?
Do you lie awake at night worrying about your (progressing) illness and how it affects your life? Hopefully these strategies for dealing with health-related anxiety as well as uncertain future will bring you some peace of mind.
