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Maybe you’ve heard that saying: ‘Grow through what you go through’.
In a way that’s true: every experience we have, good or bad, affects how we think, feel and act. But growth brings up images of ‘better’ or ‘more’, a process of expansion, right? So what does growth look like in the face of adversity?
According to research on post-traumatic growth, good things really can come out of a crisis. Some people who go through tough times not only manage to recover from that emotional distress, but the process of suffering can even propel them to a higher level of functioning than before. In those cases, surviving cancer, war or natural disasters can bring a new appreciation of life, strengthen relationships, increase self-esteem and make one feel more connected to humanity.
Studies show that the biggest personal growth happens following the most intense life events. Chronic illness is one of those events that can really turn your life upside down, when you suddenly have to cope with painful symptoms and fatigue, sadness and anxiety, or a changed body image. Feeling sick every day can also shake your core beliefs about yourself, life and the world around you.
How on earth could being chronically ill possibly make you grow?
First of all, I’m not talking about the kind of personal development that has you striving every day to be a little bit better in terms of healthy living, knowledge, skills or other habits. Obviously those improvements are great, but in the context of chronic illness, growth refers more to developing qualities that are harder to measure. You may have to learn patience and acceptance when things are outside of your control. Your painful experiences could also make you more compassionate with others who are suffering, or help you embrace every part of yourself and lead a more authentic life. Or perhaps you turn out to be stronger and more resilient than you’d ever thought possible.
You get the point: growth does not just refer to climbing a symbolic ladder to reach the top, it can also mean you explore deep emotions or broadening your perspective on life.
If you look closely, nature provides us with many beautiful metaphors of growth through adversity. To paraphrase Pablo Neruda, the earth teaches us that just when everything seems dead in winter, the bulbs nested in the soil will suddenly bloom. Through the tiniest crack in the pavement grass and weeds will emerge – even concrete can stop nature from growing. And like the lotus born in the deep thick mud, our dark, painful experiences can transform us into a beautiful version of ourselves.
Not everyone will experience personal or spiritual growth after hardship, and that’s perfectly ok. You don’t need that pressure on top of everything else you’re dealing with!
But during times in your life when you’ve lost so much, it can be comforting to know that you may also simultaneously be gaining something positive, even if you’re not aware of it. Like Roy Bennett said: “Every challenge, every adversity, contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.”
Get inspired by these 17 beautiful quotes to help you grow through what you go through.
Has living with chronic illness led to personal or spiritual growth in some areas for you?
If you enjoyed reading this article, you might also like: Post-Traumatic Growth: How Something Good Can Come Out of a Crisis and How to Flourish in the Face of Adversity.
