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Feeling sad because you’re sick? Take a look at this mental health toolkit for chronic illness to help you cope better.
Some days, it’s not just your body that hurts, it’s everything. From the moment you open your eyes, you have to manage chronic pain, fatigue and other debilitating symptoms that don’t care about your plans. Sadness can sneak in quietly or hit you all at once. You feel frustrated with the limitations of your body, you miss your old self and grieve the life you had imagined or you have this heavy sense of “will this ever get easier?”.
When you’re chronically ill, dealing with this rollercoaster of emotions can be almost as exhausting as your physical symptoms. But you shouldn’t feel weak or guilty for being sad, easily irritated, hopeless or numb. Those are all completely normal reactions to ongoing loss, uncertainty and physical strain. You can’t expect yourself to ‘just stay positive’ when your ability to move your body freely, do work you find interesting, have fun with family and friends, or even take care of yourself is limited, day in and day out.
Depression is a mood disorder characterized by a persistent sadness and a loss of interest or pleasure in nearly all activities, most of the day and nearly every day for at least two weeks. A clinical depression is a serious condition that requires professional help in the form of medication and/or therapy.
But there’s a wide middle ground of subclinical depressive symptoms like having a low mood all too often, thoughts of worthlessness and feelings of despair, and not caring anymore about things that mattered before. These symptoms may not meet the diagnostic criteria of a major depressive disorder, but they can still significantly affect your health, happiness and your ability to cope.
Research consistently shows that people living with chronic illness are at higher risk for both clinical depression and depressive symptoms due to the cumulative physical and psychological stress of being sick. Living with fibromyalgia, arthritis, heart disease, diabetes and COPD doesn’t just wear you down physically, it also taxes your emotional resilience.
That’s because feeling depressed with chronic illness can have multiple causes. From medical trauma to losing your friends and your independence, you’re probably faced with many hurtful experiences when you become sick. Exhaustion and pain then fuel more negative thoughts, that deepen your emotional pain. What’s more there are biological mechanisms working against you. Chronic inflammation can influence your brain chemistry and the neural pathways involved in mood regulation, while certain medications, disrupted sleep, gut health changes and less exposure to mood-supporting habits like sunlight and movement may also change your neurotransmitter balance.
All of this means that managing your mood with chronic illness isn’t just a matter of ‘mindset’, and having happy thoughts won’t magically change how you feel deep down.
Thankfully, there is hope. No single strategy will make you feel better overnight, but there are science-backed ways to support your emotional wellbeing, That’s why I’ve compiled a mental health toolkit for chronic illness packed with accessible strategies to help you process difficult emotions and gently boost your mood, without ignoring the realities of living with a sick body.
Your Mental Health Toolkit for Chronic Illness
Disclaimer: Always seek help from a doctor, psychologist or other qualified medical professional if you experience symptoms of a major depressive disorder or you’re having suicidal thoughts. You are not alone and there is help available.
The advice referred to below is for informational purposes only, aimed at normal sadness and subclinical depressive feelings, not clinical depression.
1. Deal better with difficult emotions
Fifty Shades of Blue: 6 Self-Help Tips to Overcome Feelings of Depression
It’s completely normal to go through periods of unhappiness, especially after upsetting events. But what if you keep finding yourself bursting into tears, feeling numb more often than not, or no longer enjoying the things you used to consider fun?
These 6 proven self-help strategies can help you to overcome mild feelings of depression.
Emotional Loneliness: 5 Things to Do When Nobody Understands You
You can be in a room full of people and still feel incredibly lonely. No one really sees you or understands what you’re going through. When you feel this way, what can you do?
I don’t have all the answers, but here are some ideas to deal with emotional loneliness.
13 Grief Quotes about Missing Your Old Life and Self
Sadly, most of us have some experience with grieving the loss of a loved one. But what if the one you’re mourning is yourself?
If chronic illness has stripped away part of your identity, take a look at 13 grief quotes about missing your old self and the life you used to have.
Real FOMO: What to Do When You’re Missing Out Because of Chronic Illness
There’s a big difference between ‘social media envy FOMO’ and the fear of missing out thanks to chronic illness. ‘Chronic illness FOMO’ is not a one-time disappointment of not being at that party, but a deeper sense of loss.
When you’re experiencing real FOMO, what can you do to cope?
Teenagers with Chronic Illness: How to Deal with Depression, FOMO and Loneliness
The teenage years can be a vulnerable period in anyone’s life. But what if, on top of the usual teenage troubles, you also have to deal with painful, debilitating symptoms every day?
Hopefully these 8 strategies can help you or your teen cope better with feelings of depression, loneliness and missing out on life.
Seasonal Affective Disorder: 7 Self-Help Tips for Beat the Winter Blues
Do you start to feel down, sluggish and carb-hungry as soon as the days are getting shorter? The cold and dark winter months can trigger the blues in many people.
Take a look at these 7 ways to ease your seasonal affective disorder and brighten your mood this winter.
2. Support your mental health
The Beginner’s Guide to Changing Your Negative Thinking
Thought are powerful. They influence your mood, decisions and neurobiology. So when your inner critic or negative Nancy is taking over your mind, it’s time to take back control.
Get started with changing negative thought patterns with this beginner’s guide.
Feeling Negative? How to Let Go of Unhelpful Thoughts
When you wake up feeling sick and miserable most mornings, it’s not hard to see how a few unhelpful thoughts could spiral into negative thinking patterns.
Let’s dive deeper into what you can do to let go of common thinking errors, ruminating and worrying, that will all hurt you in the long run.
The Difference Between Genuine Optimism and Toxic Positivity (and Why It Matters)
Anyone’s who’s ever been seriously sick knows there’s another side to positive thinking and health. Because telling someone who’s struggling to “think happy thoughts” doesn’t help, it hurts.
This blog post will show you the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity, and what that looks like.
8 Science-Backed Strategies to Boost Mood
There’s nothing wrong with being sad, frustrated or angry from time to time. But when you feel down, worried or tense more often than not, it may be a warning sign for you to take action. Depression and anxiety disorders can have a really negative impact on your health, happiness and overall functioning.
So what can you do to take care of your mental health? Have a look at these 8 scientifically proven strategies to boost your mood.
45 Ideas to Cheer Yourself Up When You’re Down
Life gets all of us down sometimes. And that’s perfectly normal, you shouldn’t push your sadness, anxiety or loneliness away. But it isn’t helpful to get stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, feelings and behavior either.
To really get out of your funk, try these 45 healthy ways to cheer yourself up when you’re down (that don’t involve ice cream or online shopping).
Conclusion
It’s completely normal to feel sad, scared and overwhelmed when you’re seriously sick. But you don’t want to develop a clinical depression on top of that pain, fatigue and brain fog. So experiment with the different coping strategies in this mental health toolkit for chronic illness, to deal with all the difficult emotions, let go of unhelpful thoughts and boost your mood.
And always keep in mind that you do not have to go through this alone. There are plenty of fellow patients, medical professionals and loving people in your life who’d be happy to support you.
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