Why Acceptance Is Not The Same as Giving Up
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Living with a chronic illness leaves its mark on you. And not just physical scars from surgery, PICC lines, G-tubes or inflamed tissue – the emotional wounds inflicted by being sick for such a long time can be just as painful.
On the one hand, a scar is a beautiful example of the healing power of your body to repair damaged tissue and prevent potentially more harm and injury. But at the same time, it’s a visual reminder that things won’t be exactly the same as before.
The scars on your skin tell a story about the pain you’ve had to endure and, depending on the exact location of course, it’s there for the whole world to see. That awareness can make you feel vulnerable, and looking different than you did before can be confronting. You may become conscious about your appearance and it takes time to accept your body the way it looks and functions now.
But not all wounds are visible, and the emotional cuts and bruises of becoming seriously sick often take just as long – or longer – to heal than the physical abrasions and bleedings. Sadly, there are no band-aids for heartache, trauma and a suffering soul, but you can take small steps to support your emotional healing.
Sometimes that starts by acknowledging that you’re hurting inside, and that your feelings matter just as much as your physical health does. It’s perfectly normal to grieve your old self and life when you’ve become chronically ill, to be sad about all the things you can no longer do and to be anxious about what the future may hold. Experiencing life-threatening events like surviving a heart attack, staying in the intensive care unit and emergency C-sections can cause medical trauma, just like receiving a serious diagnosis or mistreatment by doctors.
No wonder you’re having all these hard feelings that you don’t want to feel. But in the long run, it helps to make space for difficult emotions, with the support of loved ones, spiritual advisors or therapists to help you process what’s happened to you. You can also find tons of helpful books suitable for your specific situation that will make you feel understood and provide good advice, from ‘The Body Keeps Score’ from Bessel van der Kolk and ‘The Myth of Normal’ by Gabor Mate to ‘How to Do the Work’ by Nicole LePera and ‘This is How You Heal’ from Brianna Wiest.
Emotional healing costs a lot of energy, so be kind to yourself and prioritize self-care. Also be patient, because it takes time to gain new insights, change your thinking and apply the psychological techniques you’ve learned.
And whenever your physical scars and emotional wounds are upsetting you, remember the Japanese art of kintsugi. In this traditional practice, the cracks of broken objects are filled with gold, so that the imperfection becomes a unique piece of its history that adds to its beauty.
No matter if you’re dealing with physical or emotional damage, take inspiration from these 24 scars and wounds quotes to help you heal when you’re hurting.
Has being chronically ill left its marks on you? What helps you deal with the physical scars and emotional wounds?
