How to Fuel Your Motivation to Keep Going When Life’s Hard

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Maybe you’ve heard me say this before, but living with chronic illness can feel like starring in your own action hero movie. When you have serious health problems, your daily life may seem like a quest that demands extraordinary willpower to achieve your goals, despite all the obstacles in your way. That’s why so many sick people relate to being a ‘spoonie warrior’.

But unlike the on-screen stars, you don’t get inspirational speeches during those times when you struggle to keep going. So when you have to do hard things like dealing with pain and facing your fears every day, it’s important to fuel your motivation on a regular basis. Because keeping your head held high when you’re faced with hard challenges isn’t just taxing on your body, but on your mind and soul as well.

Now ever since I was a teenage girl housebound with juvenile rheumatism and ME/CFS, I’ve turned to epic adventures, survival stories and fictional heroines to stay motivated. But that’s not the only way to spark your determination and persistence.

Have a look at these 12 ideas to fuel your motivation to keep going when life is hard. 

1. Love.

Everyone has ever heard a story that proves love can move mountains. To love and to feel loved can give you the strength to do things you’d never thought possible. Not just heroic acts like running into a burning building to save your family, but also more mundane things like caretaking day in day out, giving up toxic habits or being there for your loved ones despite your own pain.

Thinking about the things you’d love to do with and for your loved ones is a powerful motivation to keep going. Also don’t be reach out to family and friends for emotional or practical support. All too often, people want to help, but they don’t know what to say or do.

And it’s not only about receiving love – simply being kind to others can also lift your spirits, makes you feel more connected, gives you a sense of purpose and boosts your self-esteem.

Does reading all this make you sad because you feel alone in your fight? Try a loving-kindness mediation to still cultivate those warm feelings or check out these tips on how to deal with emotional loneliness.

2. Make plans and lists.

Knowing exactly what you want to do to overcome your problems, and how and when, can make it easier to stay motivated during long journeys, like working on your recovery or achieving meaningful goals with chronic illness.

Of course your plans should be flexible when you’re living with an unpredictable disease. But having a goal in mind and deciding which steps you’ll focus on to hopefully get there, saves you a lot of mental energy, doubts and internal discussions in the long run.

In a similar fashion, if dreaming about a brighter future inspires and motivates you (instead of making you feel sad or frustrated because you’re missing out on life now), then jotting down all you hope to do someday in the My Future Listography note book could spur you on to keep reaching for those dreams.

And finally, having a list to turn to with books, songs and other ideas that’ll fuel your motivation can be really helpful on tough days (when you usually don’t have the energy to come up with the best plans).

3. Take action.

In the end, a plan is just a plan if you do not take action. We tend to think that we need to be highly motivated to work hard and push ourselves, but the reverse is also true. Actively working on possible solutions will give you a sense of control, which in turn encourages self-motivation.

To stay motivated in the long run, it helps to break down your big audacious goal into small subgoals. For example, if you want to be able to walk for one hour again, you start by adding just 3 to 5 minutes to your current fitness baseline, until you can take those daily steps relatively easily. And if you’d like to eat healthily, don’t overhaul your entire diet at once, but begin by cutting out sugary drinks or having vegetables with most meals.

By starting small – sometimes very small – you set yourself up for success, and your brain will fuel your motivation to do more of those rewarding behaviors.

When progress is slow and has its ups and downs – as it usually does with chronic illness – it’s all too easy to forget that compared to a few months ago, you can now walk 500 more steps a day, focus on your book for 5 minutes longer, or experience less post-exertional malaise. But if you track your healthy habits in any way you like – with an app or fitness tracker, in a journal – then you can easily see that you are moving forward, just at your own pace.

Finally, make sure you reward yourself for all the small achievements along the way. Treat yourself to your favorite meal, a magazine or movie night to mark your tiny victory. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to be excited about being able to do something as simple as sitting up for an hour/getting outside/studying for 30 minutes again, but you have every right to be proud after all the effort you put in.

“Dreams don’ work unless you do.” – John C. Maxwell

4. Immerse yourself in stories about overcoming challenges.

Unlike in books or the movies, we can’t be so sure that we will overcome every obstacle in the end. But bibliotherapy shows us that just the thought that someone else – fictional of not – is facing similar challenges can make you feel less alone and more determined.

So go ahead and relate to Frodo carrying the Ring all that way into Mount Doom. Fight your demons with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and follow along in Cheryl Strayed’s footsteps in Wild. Turn to feel-good flicks like ‘Intouchables‘,‘The Pursuit of Happyness‘ and ‘The Blind Side’ for comfort. See the strength of the human spirit in survival stories like ‘Unbroken‘, and grow your willpower with sports dramas such as Hustle.

Stories do not even need to have a happy ending to fuel your motivation. Sometimes seeing someone stand up for what they believe in, like in ‘Braveheart‘ and ‘Gladiator’, will ignite that spark in your own heart to keep going.

5. Keep your eye on the prize – literally.

Literally keep your eye on the prize by making a vision board of your goals and dreams. Put up pictures of things that drive you – that city trip to Rome, being able to bike/surf/horse ride again, celebrating a special birthday with friends. You can also replace the screen savers on your phone and laptop with motivational quotes and images.

And don’t forget other tangible reminders like meaningful jewelry or souvenirs of happy memories that warm your heart.

6. Have faith.

When you become chronically ill, it can sometimes lead you to question everything, from why bad things happen to good people to asking what’s the point of life? But at the same time, this is also when you need your faith more than ever before.

No matter your specific beliefs, you may find comfort and strength in religious texts, spiritual rituals and a form of prayer that suits you. You could also nourish your soul with books about the meaning of life like ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, ‘The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success‘ or the modern parable of ‘The Alchemist’. Alternatively, you can experience awe and gratitude by heading into nature, visiting historical sites or simply looking up at the stars at night.

Having faith in yourself and in life will support your resilient mindset and emotional wellbeing.

“He, who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how.” – Viktor Frankl

7.  Watch your body language.

Ok, there may be a scientific debate about whether the power pose actually works or not, but the way you carry yourself does have an impact on how you feel. We all know it’s much harder to be a 100% motivated when you’re slumping over your desk. A review study confirms that people feel more powerful, confident and positive when they engage in upright positions, and tend to stick to tasks longer. So keeping your head held high and straightening your back actually does help to fuel your motivation and face your problems.

In that spirit, science shows that the clothes you wear also have an effect on your mood, behavior, attitude and confidence. Putting on a power suit actually puts you in the right state of mind to do business, while wearing gym clothes makes it more likely you will really exercise and stick to healthy habits. Brightly colored clothes can also boost your mood and energy levels, because we unconsciously associate them with sunny days and happiness.

So whenever you need to fuel your motivation, swap your loungewear for your favorite outfit, put some bright lipstick on if you like and carry yourself with pride.

8. Do something that fires you up.

If you have limited energy, chances are, most of it is spent on boring things like basic self-care, cleaning, doctors appointments and work or study if you can. That doesn’t leave much room for activities that make your soul come alive.

But if you want to stay strong and determined in the long run, you have to fuel you motivation with fun things once in a while. See if you can make meeting up with friends, a day out or going out for a meal more accessible for you, with a smaller health setback afterwards. You could also find ways to add more small enjoyable moments to your week, by calling your best friend for a chat or making time for easy activities.

And let’s not forget the power of music! Like Psychology Today says, “you can dial up a mood, mindset, or perception on demand by choosing music that elicits a specific emotional response in you.” So make a play list that fuels your motivation on days when you need it the most. Whether you like ballads like Rise Up from Andra Day and Fight Song from Rachel Platten, enjoy classics such as Elton John’s I’m Still Standing or you prefer Lose Yourself  by Eminem, Survivor from Destiny’s Child and Titanium by David Guetta and Sia, there is an upbeat song for everyone’s liking.

9. Fight for a greater cause.

Having a strong sense of purpose has lots of benefits for your health and happiness, and it’s a powerful, sustainable motivator. Even simple daily activities will feel more important when you connect them to your deepest values and beliefs. And after chronic illness has turned your life upside down, finding new meaning can be just what you need to feel alive and determined.

When you hear the word ‘purpose’, you may automatically think of the love you feel for your children or believing in a higher power. But your greater cause can be anything that’s bigger than yourself. Maybe you feel strongly about protecting wildlife and nature, promoting disease prevention or advocating for human rights and affordable education for every child.

Even when you’re chronically ill, you can contribute to a better world in your own way (if you want to). Write letters for Amnesty International, knit blankets for people in need or raise money for the Red Cross. Become a patient advocate, send a care package to a service member or grow a bee-friendly garden with bird feeders. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, helps to spread a little love and positivity.

10. Write a new narrative.

Words can be powerful. And I don’t just mean reading motivational quotes about determination, climbing proverbial mountains and being a spoonie warrior, but also expressing your deepest feelings through writing.

Studies show that journaling is an effective tool to process emotions and reduce overwhelm and stress, which in turn leads to a better mood and improved wellbeing. What’s more, bullet journaling helps you to set goals, track your progress and stay motivated along the way.

You can also use writing as a form of narrative therapy, to change the stories you unconsciously tell yourself about who you are, what happened in your life and what the future might bring. Rewriting your life story is not an easy or quick process, but it can change some core beliefs you hold about yourself and the world around you into more constructive or desired beliefs. Not only could this support your healing process, but your deepest beliefs also drive your motivation.

Not so great with words? Consider other expressive activities like painting, baking or intuitive dancing to let your feelings out in a constructive way.

11. Cultivate positive emotions

On days you’re feeling down, anxious or frustrated, it’s hard to motivate yourself to go the extra mile. It’s completely normal to experience sadness, anger and stress when you’re sick all day every day, but that makes it extra important to also purposely cultivate positive emotions to reach a healthy balance.

One easy way to quickly boost your mood and in turn fuel your motivation is by sprinkling simple pleasures throughout your day. Nothing too elaborate or complicated, just listening to fun podcasts during chores, topping your cappuccino with cacao or cinnamon and sipping it mindfully, or adding bubbles to your bath after a long day.

But positivity encompasses more than feelings of joy. According to happiness expert Barbara Fredrickson, you can also cultivate gratitude, serenity, hope, inspiration and awe. Research shows that writing down 3 things that went well each day is one of the most effective ways to boost your overall happiness. But you could also experience awe in nature, find inspiration in art, books and documentaries, or look for serenity in stillness and solitude. And when you’re really struggling, it can be easier to strive for contentment than a ‘jumping for joy’ version of happiness.

No matter what positivity means to you, having a good mood will make it easier to stay determined and persevere.

12. Build a resilient mindset

Being able to bounce back from adversity is key when you’re living with arthritis, POTS or inflammatory bowel disease. Thankfully, although some people are naturally better at this than others, resilience is a skill that can be learned.

An important part of handling the stresses of life is having a resilient mindset. Your thought patterns have a bigger impact on your emotions and behavior than you may realize. Don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly normal to worry about how on earth you’ll be able to cope with everything that’s going on. But at the same time, you don’t need more stress from negative voices in your mind.

So how can you realistically build a more resilient mindset when you’re dealing with hardship? I could write an entire blog post about that, and one day I probably will, but here are some general tips to get you started.

“Life is not about how many times you fall down. It’s about how many times you get back up.”― Jaime Escalante

• Mind your inner dialogue. Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to or about yourself? Changing negative thought patterns takes time and effort, but you can learn to challenge your inner critic and replace negative statements for more helpful ones.
• Become confident in your ability to deal whatever comes your way. I know this is especially difficult when your ‘broken’ body makes you feel so vulnerable and limited in your actions, but like Bob Marley famously said, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. With a little creativity and support, hard work and persistence, you can achieve more than you thought possible.
• Don’t lose yourself in rumination or worrying. Of course you have every right to be sad, frustrated and scared! Just don’t get stuck going over and over the same problem in your mind. Depending on the situation, you could schedule constructive worry sessions and take action afterwards, distract yourself with positive activities or mind games, practice mindfulness or try other ways to stop overthinking right now.
• See if you can reframe the way you look at certain stressful events. Could you see this negative incident not just as something that could hurt you, but (also) as a challenge you can overcome, somethings that helps you grow as a person or as an opportunity to head into a new direction? Not all stress is bad for you, and bad things can sometimes lead to good things – even if you still wish it had never happened in the first place.
• When you’re working hard towards your goals despite your health problems, don’t think in terms of succeeding and failing. Instead, focus on how hard you tried. You don’t determine the outcome, especially when living with an unpredictable disease, but you can find some meaning, pride and contentment in the striving.
• Finally, keep hope in your heart. Staying positive in troubling times doesn’t mean you ignore the pain and struggling, you simply leave room for the possibility that tomorrow could be a brighter day.

Staying hopeful and determined when you’re faced with pain every day is not easy. That’s why it’s all the more important to fuel your motivation on a regular basis by surrounding yourself with support, literally keeping your head held high and your eyes on the prize and learning from stories about overcoming adversity.

What fuels your motivation to keep going when life is hard?