Why Acceptance Is Not The Same as Giving Up
When you’re living with lupus, heart disease or arthritis, you often have no choice but to slow down and simplify your life. No matter how badly you want to, there often is not enough energy for mile long to-do lists or to work hard and play hard.
Obviously it’s upsetting when the limitations of chronic illness stop you from living your life the way you want to. When your body and brain don’t function the way they’re supposed to, suddenly there are all kinds of things you can no longer do. Maybe you’ve had to give up your job, quit your hobbies or stop meeting up with friends because of the constant pain, fatigue and horrible symptoms you experience every day. Maybe your limited mobility makes it very challenging to leave your home and run errands by yourself. Even simple chores like folding laundry and unloading the dishwasher can take up a day’s worth of energy, leaving you with little to no room for socializing and having fun.
It’s completely normal to feel sad about all the things you’re missing out on and to grieve your old self. Learning to accept your limitations takes time and effort, and even after many years of being ill, the heartache of grief, FOMO and unfulfilled potential can still pop up every now and then.
But once you’ve come to terms with the fact that for now you’re stuck with these limitations, you may see that there’s also beauty to be found in a slow and simple life.
The beauty of slowness and simplicity
Having scary symptoms, limited energy and mobility do have one silver lining: these experiences make you clearly aware of what matters most to you. After being rushed to the emergency room or having to worry about perhaps becoming blind/deaf/paralyzed in the future, you don’t care anymore about the latest fashion trends, the right interior design or what the neighbors might think. Chances are, you just want to be with the people you love, chase your dreams, enjoy yourself and find some kind of meaning in life.
Slow and simple living focuses on choosing quality over quantity. By doing less at the right pace, you open up possibilities for deeper connections, inner peace and feeling satisfied with life. It’s also about savoring the journey instead of racing to the finish line.
You may not have chosen a slower and simpler life if it wasn’t for your chronic illness. But given your current reality, how can you flip think your situation and make the best of your limitations?
If you are not able to do much, live with intention and make deliberate choices. Identify your core values in life and set 3-5 priorities according to what’s most important to you. Build your weeks around your values and priorities, even if ‘caring for my family’ or ‘rebuilding my fitness’ simply looks like a gentle hug at night or doing one yoga pose a day right now. Whenever possible, let go of the activities, tasks commitments and people that weigh you down. Try to focus mostly on what you still can do.
When your body forces you to slow down, try to follow your own pace whenever you can. Take breaks without feeling guilty or lazy. Your worth is not defined by your productivity. And sometimes, it may surprise you how taking small steps every days adds up over time, and slow and steady still wins the race.
See in which areas of life you could make things easier. Experiment with ways to get things done with less energy and embrace ‘minimalism with a backup plan‘. This manifesto from Zen Habits gives lots of tips to start simplifying your life.
Be present. Don’t try to rush through life, but pay attention to what’s happening in the moment. Of course you can’t wait for a better tomorrow, but don’t wish too many days away – you only get one life.
Savor the simple pleasures in life. Studies repeatedly show that after getting through hardship, many people have a newfound appreciation for the simple pleasures in life. No, enjoying your cappuccino in the morning sun cannot take away your pain, but savoring tiny moments of bliss can make it more bearable.
Take inspiration from these 17 quotes to see the upsides of a slower and simpler life and help you embrace your limitations.
Does any of the slow living and simplicity quotes help you to embrace the limitations of chronic illness?
Curious about how you can simplify your life? You’ll find many more practical tips in ‘Life in the Slow Lane: 21 Ideas to Embrace Slow Living and Less But Better: How to Make Minimalism Work with Chronic Illness.
